Search for family violence resources in Edmonton, online, and other information sources.
The EVPC recognizes that intimate partner violence does not always involve a male using abuse against a female. We have included resources that address women who abuse male partners or abuse that occurs within a same-sex relationship. Education, a safe environment, counselling and support play important roles in ending family violence.
This resource is made possible by a Community Initiatives Grant from the Alberta government.
Search our resources database using the terms below or scroll down for the full listing:
Book Resource
12 Stupid Things that mess up Recovery: Avoiding Relapse through Self-Awareness and Right Action, by A. Berger
Concise advice on hunting down the personal culprits that sabotage sobriety and personal happiness.
To grow in recovery, we must grow up emotionally. This means getting honest with ourselves and facing up to the self-defeating thoughts and actions that put our sobriety at risk. Although there are as many ways to mess up recovery as there are alcoholics and addicts, some general themes exist, which include confusing self-concern with selfishness not making amends using the program to try to become perfect not getting help for relationship troubles believing that life should be easy in simple, down-to-earth language, Allen Berger explores the twelve most commonly confronted beliefs and attitudes that can sabotage recovery. He then provides tools for working through these problems in daily life. This useful guide offers fresh perspectives on how the process of change begins with basic self-awareness and a commitment to working a daily program.
Counseling Resources
Aboriginal Counseling Services of Alberta (ACSA) provides Aboriginal-specific support services including family and individual counselling and support in family violence situations. They offer courses and workshops on topics such as parenting, teen relationships, and family violence.
Book Resource
Abuse of Men by Women: It happens, it hurts, and it’s time to get real about it, by Ann Silvers
This ground breaking book shatters the silence surrounding partner abuse where the target of the abuse is a man and the source of the abuse is a woman. It challenges the common perception that partner abuse only happens to women.
Counselor and relationship coach, Ann Silvers, M.A., questions the cultural trend to ignore, condone, laugh at, or even applaud women treating men in ways that would be rightfully condemned if the genders were reversed. Her unique perspective as a woman who herself was the target of partner abuse by a man, and who also recognizes that there are abusive women and abused men, has resulted in a book that is a cultural game changer.
This book stands alone with its gripping personal stories and detailed yet concise descriptions of emotionally abused men as well as every other form of partner abuse of men by their female partners: verbal, psychological, financial, spiritual, legal, physical, and sexual.
“It Happens, It Hurts” describes what abuse of men by women looks like, why women do it, how we are supporting and encouraging women to abuse men, how men get pulled into these dysfunctional relationships, why they stay, the impact abusive or manipulative women have on men, and what can be done about it.
This book arms men with the information they need to avoid getting hooked into relationships with abusive or manipulative women.
It provides refreshing recognition, understanding, and direction for abused men who are struggling to deal with, or recover from, difficult relationships with an abusive wife or girlfriend.
And it helps women examine how they treat their husbands and boyfriends.
“It Happens, It Hurts” is a road map for men and women looking to help their brothers, fathers, sons, and friends who are being abused by women or teach them how to avoid getting pulled in by them. It is a call to action for helping professionals (teachers, counselors, ministers, police officers . . .) and all people who are willing to see what is really going on.
Book Resource
Adult Children of Abusive Parents, by Steven Farmer
A history of a childhood abuse is not a life sentence. Here is hope, healing, and a chance to recover the self lost in childhood. Drawing on his extensive work with Adult Children, and on his own experience as a survivor of emotional neglect, therapist Steven Farmer demonstrates that through exercises and journal work, his program can help lead you through grieving your lost childhood, to become your own parent, and integrate the healing aspects of spiritual, physical, and emotional recovery into your adult life.
Community Resource
Government of Alberta – Alberta Children and Youth Services website.
Book Resource
Authentic Happiness: Using the New Positive Psychology to Realize Your Potential for Lasting Fulfillment, by Martin E. P. Seligman
A national bestseller, Authentic Happiness launched the revolutionary new science of Positive Psychology—and sparked a coast-to-coast debate on the nature of real happiness.
According to esteemed psychologist and bestselling author Martin Seligman, happiness is not the result of good genes or luck. Real, lasting happiness comes from focusing on one’s personal strengths rather than weaknesses—and working with them to improve all aspects of one’s life. Using practical exercises, brief tests, and a dynamic website program, Seligman shows readers how to identify their highest virtues and use them in ways they haven’t yet considered. Accessible and proven, Authentic Happiness is the most powerful work of popular psychology in years.
Book Resource
Boundaries After a Pathological Relationship, by Adelyn Birch
This book is small, but mighty.
If you were involved in a pathological relationship — or you want to prevent it from happening in the first place — this book is for you. It gets to the heart of the matter of personal boundaries. Identifying and setting clear boundaries is vital for survivors and for anyone who wants to become more confident, improve relationships, and prevent victimization.
When you create boundaries you take a stand for yourself and your life, and you communicate your worth to others in a real and practical way. This concise and powerful book is filled with practical wisdom and useful tips. It will walk you through the process of creating boundaries from start to finish.
You get to decide how you want to live. Find your courage. Live in an authentic way. Protect yourself and what’s important to you. Gain self respect and the respect of others. Boundaries will help you do all of these things.
“The BEST Manual on how to protect yourself from becoming a victim again – I know the subject too well… I am going to recommend it to the facilitators in the divorce support group I am attending.”
“This small book was full of tons of useful information. I don’t usually write in my books, but my copy of Boundaries has underlining on almost every page. I was really glad I bought it.”
“Excellent Book for Individual, Group or Use in Therapy. A very well written book by an author who has a firm grip on abusers and their cunning ways. Excellent description on what boundaries are, why they are needed and what they can do for the holder of the newly created list of personal boundaries. This book if studied and put into practice could protect many from the narcissists, sociopaths and psychopaths in all areas of one’s life. It would lend exceptional protection in the area of dating. It would protect a person from repeating the selection of another abuser if a past relationship was abusive. Highly recommend!”
“Super Helpful: Make And Keep Your Boundaries.This is a really well written book. I found her tips for discovering, recording and keeping your personal boundaries extremely helpful.”
“My eyes have seen the light. How I wish I would have read this book years ago.”
“Worth your time! Well written, clear, and concise. So thankful I came across this quick, but powerful read. Having separated myself from an 8 year long destructive marriage, and reading many, many books on the topic, I so appreciate the wisdom I found in this writing. I feel empowered once more! Easily rated at 5 stars.”
Book Resource
Boundaries, Where you Begin and I End, by Ann Katherine
Are your boundaries being violated?
Boundaries separate us from others physically and emotionally. In fact, they are essential for our mental and physical health as well as for developing healthy relationships. Yet every day, people’s boundaries are violated by friends, family, or coworkers. Despite the importance of personal boundaries many people are unaware of how or when these very important lines are crossed.
Which of the following are boundary violations?
* Esther tells Betty a secret Mary told her.
* Your therapist invites you to go for coffee.
* Your boss wants to know the details of your personal life.
* Your boss asks you if you’d like a hug.
* Mom tells little Debbie about her troubles with Dad.
* Your new neighbor pats you on the bottom as he turns away.
* Your mother makes a comment about your being overweight.
All but one of the above incidents violate boundaries (your boss asks you if you’d like a hug). In Boundaries: Where You End and I Begin, Anne Katherine explains what healthy boundaries are, how to recognize if your personal boundaries are being violated, and what you can do to protect yourself.
For anyone who has walked away from a conversation, a meeting, or a visit with others feeling violated and not understanding why, this is a book that can help.
Buried Emotions
Many people think if a painful memory or emotion isn’t in their thoughts daily then it has been dealt with. However, if you buried the emotion or memory rather than working through it, it will affect your thinking, actions and reactions to situations. A person that has buried emotions will explode in anger at something that seems relatively trivial and harmless. It is similar to a volcano that builds up pressure until it finally erupts. The person cannot control or repress the emotions any longer and it begins to leak out in harmful and unhealthy ways. Other symptoms of buried or repressed emotions are:
• Fatigue
• Depression or anxiety
• Addiction
• Rarely talking about your feelings
• Troubled personal relationships with family, friends, acquaintances
• Difficulty accepting yourself and others
Emotions are reliable indicators of what is really going on inside of you. Painful or negative feelings indicate unmet needs, or you are interpreting reality through a harmful thinking pattern (eg. “I never do anything right.” “Everyone is always against me.” etc.). Positive feelings indicate your needs are being met and you are experiencing healthy attitudes and actions. Emotions are an effective teacher if you listen to them.
You can learn how to feel and deal with your emotions instead of burying them and experiencing the negative consequences. When an emotion of any type emerges:
1. Tune into the specific physical experience of the emotion. Do I have a knot in my stomach? Does my throat feel tight?
2. Name the emotion. Is it anger? Is it fear? Is it grief?
3. Determine the cause. Why am I feeling this way? What thoughts are going through my mind?
4. Feel the emotion. Find a safe place to experience the emotion. If you are sad, allow yourself to cry. If you are angry, express it in a non-destructive way and allow it to dissipate.
5. Evaluate what can be learned and/or needs to be changed. Is there a thinking pattern that is harmful to me? Am I seeing things clearly or am I being influenced by my past?
6. Determine action What needs to change? Do I need to work through these emotions at a deeper level?
This process may be very difficult for you. However, you can learn the skills to identify, feel, and evaluate emotions and it is worth your time and effort. Being strongly connected to your emotions is essential to having a full and satisfying life.
Book Resource
Clover’s Secret, by Christine Winn & David Walsh
In an imaginary land where people can fly, two young girls form a friendship that helps one of them deal with the problems she faces at home.
Book Resource
Domestic Violence for Abusive Women: A Treatment Manual, by Ellen L. Bowen
Most therapists have experience with wives, girlfriends, and children of violent men, never suspecting that domestic violence offenders can be women too. In Domestic Violence Treatment for Abusive Women, Bowen challenges us to re-think our gender and violence constructs and guides clinicians through the emerging field of treatment of female abusers.
Unlike other books designed for male clients that may be adapted to women, this book is specifically written for use with women, with handouts and exercises created from the author’s own clinical experience. It is deliberately designed to give clinicians knowledge to deal with all aspects of female domestic violence, from dealing with their first client to filling out paperwork correctly. The first part of the book is dedicated to defining female violence and helping readers overcome pre-existing gender stereotypes. The second part provides a framework for everything a therapist needs in order to set up and facilitate a domestic violence treatment program for women. As a whole, Domestic Violence Treatment for Abusive Women helps the licensed mental health professional understand women’s domestic violence and offers step-by-step direction for successful therapy.
Effects on Children in Domestic Abuse.
Fear
Flight, fight or freeze. Because children are smaller, they typically freeze, so people think there is no response and the children are fine.
Anxiety
Children can begin to develop anxiety, which will impact their whole life. Male children who witness family violence are more likely to be abusive to their female partner. Female children are more likely to enter into a relationship where they are abused.
Depression
Depressed children often have behaviour problems. The school might start to complain about how they are. Their behaviour changes. They might become moody. They have physical complaints, like headaches and stomach aches.
Violence
Children and adolescents can become aggressive and fight more. They can often become violent towards themselves too, and engage in risky behaviors or cut themselves.
Anger
Children who are angry often lose the capacity to learn and experience other emotions. Children need to feel all emotions and learn to manage them in a healthy manner.
Substance Abuse
Adolescents might start to seek relief in negative peer groups and drugs or alcohol.
Shame
The children may begin to lie about what is happening in their home out of shame. This prevents them from having open and honest relationships with peers, which impairs their ability to have open honest adult relationships.
Mental Illness
Some children develop severe mental illnesses.
Over Responsibility
Some children become rigid and over controlled. Rigid, over controlled children sometimes develop anorexia.
Regression
Some children act younger than they are, maybe because they need to be comforted because of the distress about the violence in the home. They may use baby talk, wet the bed, or soil themselves.
Book Resource
Emotional Freedom: Liberate Yourself from Negative Emotions and Transform your Life, by J. Orloff
Picture yourself trapped in a traffic jam feeling utterly calm. Imagine being unflappable and relaxed when your supervisor loses her temper. What if you were peaceful instead of anxious? What if your life were filled with nurturing relationships and a warm sense of belonging? This is what it feels like when you’ve achieved emotional freedom.
National bestselling author Dr. Judith Orloff invites you to take a remarkable journey, one that leads to happiness and serenity, and a place where you can gain mastery over the negativity that pervades daily life. No matter how stressed you currently feel, the time for positive change is now. You possess the ability to liberate yourself from depression, anger, and fear.
Synthesizing neuroscience, intuitive medicine, psychology, and subtle energy techniques, Dr. Orloff maps the elegant relationships between our minds, bodies, spirits, and environments. With humor and compassion, she shows you how to identify the most powerful negative emotions and how to transform them into hope, kindness, and courage. Compelling patient case studies and stories from her online community, her workshop participants, and her own private life illustrate the simple, easy-to-follow action steps that you can take to cope with emotional vampires, disappointments, and rejection.
Emotional Freedom is a road map for those who are stressed out, discouraged, or overwhelmed as well as for those who are in a good emotional place but want to feel even better. As Dr. Orloff shows, each day presents opportunities for us to be heroes in our own lives: to turn away from negativity, react constructively, and seize command of any situation. Complete emotional freedom is within your grasp.
Book Resource
Escaping Emotional Entrapment, by Daniel Rutley
Psychotherapist Daniel Rutley is the Best Selling author of Escaping Emotional Entrapment: Freedom from negative thinking and unhealthy emotions.
He is also the author of the ground-breaking audio-CD, Understanding the Opposite Sex: 5 keys to relationship enhancement and the home-study program – 8 Weeks to Life.
All of Daniel’s material can be purchased on Amazon.com
Daniel Rutley is an inspirational, dynamic and captivating individual with a strong, unparalleled ability to help people take charge of their lives.
Throughout Escaping Emotional Entrapment, Daniel Rutley knows how to connect with his readers, showing them how to make a significant change in their lives.
Tens of thousands of people have benefited from his direct and simple approach to gaining emotional control and reaching their potential…personally and professionally.
In this best selling book, Dan will captivate and motivate you.
Gaining emotional control will make a profound difference in your career, in your relationships, and in your life. Daniel focuses on how to become more of who you want to be and how to take charge of your life, regardless of life circumstances.
Daniel Rutley not only makes sense, he makes a difference.
Fight or Flight Response
The fight or flight response is one of the tools your body uses to protect you from danger. When you feel threatened, the fight-or-flight response is automatically triggered, and several physiological changes prepare you to either confront or flee the threat.
– Increased heart rate – Racing thoughts – Difficulty concentrating
– Dizziness or light headedness – Nausea / “butterflies” in stomach – Rapid, shallow breathing
– Shaking – Sweating – Tensed muscles
Everyone will experience the fight-or-flight response at times, to varying degrees. Usually, it’s a natural, healthy, and not a problem. However, when the fight-or-flight response leads to excessive anger, anxiety, prolonged stress, or other problems, it might be time to intervene.
In addition to the fight-or-flight response, your body can initiate an opposing relaxation response. Many symptoms of the relaxation response counteract the fight-or-flight response, such as slower and deeper breathing, relaxed muscles, and slower heart rate. The relaxation response can be triggered by using relaxation skills, such as deep breathing or progressive muscle relaxation.
Book Resource
How to be an Adult in a Relationship, by David Richo
“Most people think of love as a feeling,” says David Richo, “but love is not so much a feeling as a way of being present.” In this book, Richo offers a fresh perspective on love and relationships—one that focuses not on finding an ideal mate, but on becoming a more loving and realistic person. Drawing on the Buddhist concept of mindfulness, How to Be an Adult in Relationships explores five hallmarks of mindful loving and how they play a key role in our relationships throughout life:
1. Attention to the present moment; observing, listening, and noticing all the feelings at play in our relationships.
2. Acceptance of ourselves and others just as we are.
3. Appreciation of all our gifts, our limits, our longings, and our poignant human predicament.
4. Affection shown through holding and touching in respectful ways.
5. Allowing life and love to be just as they are, with all their ecstasy and ache, without trying to take control.
When deeply understood and applied, these five simple concepts—what Richo calls the five A’s—form the basis of mature love. They help us to move away from judgment, fear, and blame to a position of openness, compassion, and realism about life and relationships. By giving and receiving these five A’s, relationships become deeper and more meaningful, and they become a ground for personal transformation.
How to Speak Assertively / Making a Request
Speaking assertively means you can tell others what you need and want clear, directly and respectfully. Using “I” statements and making sure you are not telling others what they think, want or need. You will not use fighting language. You want what is best for you and the other person. You want the other person to hear what you are saying to them without either of you feeling frustrated or defensive.
The skill of speaking assertively is not something most people did not learn growing up. But it is never too late to learn. If possible practice with another person, it’s best if it’s the person you want to learn to communicate with.
1. “When ___________ happens”
Describe a situation you are concerned about. No fighting words. Be careful not to insult or blame. Explain the situation, but be as brief as you can; the other person can become defensive or overwhelmed with too much information.
2. “I feel __________________”
Say what it is that you feel, be as brief as possible.
3. “I’d like ________________ to happen”
Be specific and brief. Ask for what you need to change without being insulting to the other person. For example: “I don’t know how to change if you tell me I’m selfish, but if you tell me you want me to help you more with something, tell me what it is and I can help you.” Remember people can’t change their personalities, but they can change their behavior.
Making an assertive request:
Being assertive usually means controlling your own behavior without trying to control someone else’s behavior. You might need to ask for something from your partner. How can you do this in a non-abusive, non-controlling way? You state what you would like to happen, and let your partner decide whether or not they are willing to go along with the request. They control their actions.
Tips and Observations:
• Ask yourself what you would like to happen.
• Before you make the request, decide for yourself what you think is reasonable in the circumstances.
• You have the right to ask, but remember that the other person has the right to say no.
DESO SCRIPTS
One way to ensure that you are making assertive requests it to use a DESO script. DESO stands for:
Describe
Express
Specify
Outcome
There are four steps in making an assertive request.
Describe:
Before making your request, define the situation. What is going on? Be as clear as you can without giving a long explanation. If the request has to do with your partner’s behavior, rather than on their personality or motives.
Examples: “there’s a lot to do before we can go on holidays”, “it’s been a long time since we went out, without the kids”, “You haven’t done what you had agreed to do”
Your goal is to make a request not to argue, hurt your partner, even the score or criticize. Accusing another person of having a negative personality trait or that they make poor choices is likely to make them defensive and they will not be open to the rest of your message. Always focus on the behavior.
Express:
Express how you are feeling in this situation.
• State your emotions don’t act them out. Avoid “letting them have it” with the full impact of your emotions. A simple statement will do – “I’m not feeling valued right now” this can feel like an understatement, but you will usually have a better outcome.
• Emphasize the positive. Focus more on the positive emotions you wish you were feeling, rather than the negative emotions you are currently feeling. Instead of saying “I am so angry when you do this”, you could say, “When this happens I don’t feel as close to you as I would like to”. Focusing on the positive tells your partner you value them and the relationship.
• Stay calm. Try to stay calm when you say what you feel. Simply stating what you feel is enough, you don’t have to yell or threaten to let them know how you are feeling. Further, if you are empathic, you might realize that showing your emotions might cause a fear response in your partner. This is not a good for them, and it is hard to solve problems when afraid.
• Use “I” statements. Take responsibility for your emotions and do not blame your partner for your feelings. This will only make people defensive. Remind yourself that you want to solve a relationship problem with the person you care about, not FIGHT. You want to bring out the best in your partner – you also want your children to know how to solve problems. So, using “I” statements show that you take responsibility for how you feel.
• Avoid being a Martyr. Some people find it tempting to overemphasize how bad they feel in a situation and might want to make the other person feel guilty. The idea is that guilt will motivate the other person to change. This usually doesn’t work. Even if it does, it often damages the relationship. State how you feel, but don’t overstate it.
Specify
This is the stage where you make your request. What exactly would you like to happen?
• Decide what you want ahead of time. You might feel strong emotions while talking to the person, so make sure you know what you want and how you are going to say it.
• Be clear, but brief. In most situations, your request should only take one or two sentences, be specific. For example: “Could you pick up the kids from school on Fridays?” is much better than “You need to help out more.”
• Frame the request positively. Say what you want, not what you don’t want. For example: “Could we spend this holiday with my family?” is better than “I don’t like your mother, it’s not fair we have to spend all our time with her.”
• Focus on behavior. What do you want your partner to do? Don’t ask for changes in how they think or feel. Avoid being too general. For example: “stop resenting me” or “you need to be more considerate”.
Some specific request examples: “I’d like you to tell me what is upsetting you about after the kids have gone to bed.” “I’d like to spend more time just the two of us.” “I’d like us to laugh together more.”
The more specific you are the more agreeable your partner is likely going to be for your request.
Outcome
The last step is to describe the outcome that you think will follow if the other person does or does not go along with your suggestion. This is not punishment.
• Feelings – You will feel better. The most common outcome statement: “I’d really like that much better” or “I would feel much more comfortable”
• Results – sometimes your suggested outcome will have concrete results. “I think I will get the yardwork done much faster this way and then we can have more time together.” “This way we will get along better.” “I could get the important things done first, and you won’t have to wait on me anymore.”
• Reward – Maybe you will do something for the other person. “If you could do that for me, I could pick up the kids form school all week.” “This would make more time for you on the weekend, and you could go out with your friends if you would like.”
• Consequences / punishment – perhaps the other person doesn’t do what you request, you will do something they don’t like. USE THIS SPARINGLY AND FAIRLY – people react much more positively to rewards! “If you can’t be faithful to me, I will have to do something neither of us want – end the relationship”
By stating this outcome, you are taking responsibility for your own behavior and letting others be responsible for theirs. You are not DEMANDING that others do things – this would be controlling. Instead you are simply saying what you will feel and do if they act in certain ways. Others can decide what they want to do of their own free will.
Remember that negative consequences cause resentment. Research shows that punishment is less successful at changing behavior. In most situations take the time to frame the request in a positive way. It is recommended that you try to give 3 times more rewards then punishments, and 3 times more compliments than criticisms.
One more tip about outcomes:
People often make outcome statements that are vague or excessive. These are unlikely to come true, and your partner will know it. If you do this, others will not take you seriously. Here are some examples:
“And then everything will work out perfectly.”
“Then I’ll never forgive you.”
“Then we wouldn’t have anymore problems.”
So- be specific and realistic when making outcome statements.
Writing a DESO Script
You could use whenever you have an important concern with your partner that you wish to handle in a loving and compassionate way, and when you want a problem solved.
First – think of the situation with your partner:
Now, give the actual statements you could make for each stage.
Describe – Remember to focus on behaviour:
Express – state how you feel without acting it out. Use an “I” statement:
Specify – What would you like to happen? Be Brief, focus on behaviour and frame it positively:
Outcome – What will happen if you get what you want? How will you feel, what results will take place, what will you do in return? If you do not get what you want what will you do?:
(based on the work of Randy J. Peterson’s Being There: A Changeways Guide to Assertiveness Skills (1999)
Relationship Resource
Is Your Relationship Primed for Romance? Quiz
From: The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work
by John Gottman, PhD.
To get a good sense of how your relationship is faring (or is likely to fare in the future) in the romance department, answer the following questions. Read each statement and circle T for “true” and F for “false”
1. We enjoy doing small things together, like folding laundry or watching TV. T F
2. I look forward to spending my free time with my partner. T F
3. At the end of the day my partner is glad to see me. T F
4. My partner is usually interested in hearing my views. T F
5. I really enjoy discussing things with my partner. T F
6. My partner is one of my best friends. T F
7. I think my partner would consider me a very close friend. T F
8. We just love talking to each other. T F
9. When we go out together, the time goes very quickly. T F
10. We always have a lot to say to each other. T F
11. We have a lot of fun together. T F
12. We are spiritually very compatible. T F
13. We tend to share the same basic values. T F
14. We like to spend time together in similar ways. T F
15. We really have a lot of common interests. T F
16. We have many of the same dreams and goals. T F
17. We like to do a lot of the same things. T F
18. Even though our interests are somewhat different, I enjoy my partner’s interests. T F
19. Whatever we do together, we usually have a good time. T F
20. My partner tells me when he or she has had a bad day. T F
Scoring: Give yourself one point for each “true” answer.
10 or above: Congratulations! This is an area of strength in your marriage. Because you are so often “there” for each other during the minor events in your lives, you have built up a hefty emotional bank account that will support you over any rough patches in your marriage (and keep many at bay). It’s those little moments that you rarely think about – when you’re shopping at the supermarket, folding laundry, or having a quick catch-up call while you’re both still at work –that make up the heart and soul of a marriage. Having a surplus in your emotional bank account is what makes romance last and gets you through hard times, bad moods, and major life changes.
Below 10: Your marriage could stand some improvement in this area. By learning to turn toward each other more during the minor moments in your day, you will make your marriage not only more stable but more romantic. Every time you make the effort to listen and respond to what your spouse says, to help him or her, you make your marriage a little better. Research by Dr. Gottman has found that happily married couples have five positive interactions for every negative one.
Book Resource
Legacy of the Heart: The Spiritual Advantages of a Painful Childhood, by Wayne Muller
In celebration of the tenth anniversary of its publication, a reissue of the bestselling classic that is a “touching and important book with much to teach us about the redemptive aspects of suffering” (Robert Coles, author of The Spiritual Life of Children).
For almost three decades, Wayne Muller has worked with children and adults to heal their sorrow, helping them discover how their pain can become a powerful source of strength and peace. In this inspiring book, Muller reveals the resilience of the human spirit in the face of sorrow and teaches readers how to recognize and transform the damaging effects of their wounds and rediscover their natural vitality, creativity, and joy.
Regardless of the specific nature of their trauma, be it family violence, alcoholism, sexual abuse, illness, or loss, Muller’s book has provided countless thousands a path for the awakening of the heart that is psychologically sound and reassuring, yet challenges us at the same time to believe in the possibility of real change. Filled with practical suggestions, this is a book that will bring every reader consolation, comfort, and the courage to seek a more fulfilling way forward.
Legal Resources
Edmonton Police Service: How to report domestic violence. To report domestic violence, call 911 (in an emergency) or the Edmonton Police Complaint line at 780-423-4567 (#377 from a mobile device in the Edmonton area).
To talk confidentially with a social worker: 780-496-4777 City of Edmonton Assessment and Short-Term Counselling
For information on resources in Edmonton and across the province: 310-1818 (toll free) Family Violence Info Line. Help is available in 170 languages, 24/7. Call to find out what help is available in your community.
http://www.edmontonpolice.ca/communitypolicing/familyprotection/domesticviolence.aspx
Department of justice: This Government of Canada Website will provide information on:Family Justice Laws: What are the Canadian family justice laws? What happens if you call the police?
http://www.justice.gc.ca/eng/cj-jp/fv-vf/laws-lois.html
Student Legal Services of Edmonton: Providing free legal information and representation to those with lower income.
Contact information: (780)-492-2226
(Mon. – Fri.: 8:30 AM – 11:30 AM & 1:00 PM – 4:00 PM)
Alberta Courts: Provides information on the Family Court system including how to obtain a Protection Order.
https://albertacourts.ca/
On the Alberta Courts website there is a brochure available to those being charged with a crime and the process that follows.
WillowNet – provides legal information for Albertans experiencing domestic violence.